in which i buy 14 pairs of shoes

to preface i have three phrases:

• credit card
• free shipping
• poor impulse control

you can guess where it goes from there...

 

 

here's a screenshot of my order from el tarjeto.  the first 6 pairs i ordered both a size 8 and 8.5, since, well jesus. can anyone actually fit a pair of shoes just by a description?  doubtful.  if you can, you sir, are a wizard.  and dont they just have such cute freakin names?  magee, mali, erin, emma, maye, micah, latia, lisbeth.  hipster spellings and rare designations aside, i tried them all on. 

turns out i like navy and mint.  and based on what actually fit, i narrowed down the 8 sets of shoes to 5.  then... since i'm a stereotypical girl despite my best intentions, i texted pictures to my friend.  this paraphrases what we said

me: i fraking love these
kt: love patent

me: suede and pointy or patent and impractical?
kt: love patent.  not so much kitten heels
me: but walking and stuff
kt: meh
me: sorry, keeping the ones you dont like
kt: sad

me: buttery soft leather flats!  and slightly tacky tassels
kt: cuteee!
me: but the leather ones dont fit..  they have other colors online btw.  and super cheap for leather
kt: quit tempting me.  youre a bad influence
me: yep

in the end, i kept the taupe patent heels, the navy faux suede kitten heels, and the fabric tasseled flats.  i had the rest sitting on the kitchen island when friends came over, and one of my friends bought the leather flats in the smaller size for mad cash yo.  no really.  i generally have about $.40 in my purse.  i had a hot $10 in my wallet for about 14 hours since i stopped at the bank in preparation for our chinese take-out lunch from work.  but two $20s.  daaamn.

needless to say, the target returns desk guy was not that pleased to see me walk in.