in which i make subpar pretzels

sunday i had [very] tentative brunch plans so i set my alarm for a reasonable 8:30am and decided to finally try out a prezel recipe id been holding onto for years. 

• 4 C flour
• 1 package yeast
• 1 1/2 C milk
• 1/4 C sugar
• 2 T oil
• 1 tsp salt
• 1 egg white
• 1 T water
• coarse salt

mix 1 1/2 C flour and yeast and set aside.  heat milk, sugar, oil, salt, and whisk until warm but not boiling.  add to flour and mix with dough hook [in kitchenaid] on low for 30 seconds.  add half remaining flour and mix on medium for several minutes until incorporated.  add remaining flour and mix several minutes more.  remove from mixer and knead by hand several minutes until smooth.  place in greased bowl and turn once to grease surface, cover and let rise in a warm place until doubled in size - approx 1 hour.  punch down dough, turn onto floured surface, and let rest 10 minutes.  whisk egg white and water until frothy and set aside.  preheat oven to 475.  roll dough into 14"x12" rectangle, divide in half length wise, and cut into 16 7"x1" strips.  slit strips down middle and twist ends into each other to form twists.  bake 4 minutes, top with egg wash, and bake at 350 for an additional 10 minutes.

i also made some faux pretzel shapes.  easy peasy right?  its bread.  you shape it and bake it. 

not quite browned but ... i was hungry.  and what's that?  i'm missing a step?  wtf.  well.  king arthur, justataste, and the kitchn all agree on a boiling water + baking soda dip for the breads before they bake, changing the alkalinity and giving them the super dark crust. 

well eff. 

i was never very good at chemistry..  but yes.  they were tasty breadsticks.  just not pretzelly.  but recipe save! 

jalapeno chicken sausage and sauerkraut toppers!

and second save... not as good as the first.  deli turkey, swiss cheese... and then i discovered my little jar of pizza sauce had molded.  sigh.  par for this course i suppose.