technology versus liz

soooo it has been over a month since i posted.  in that time, i have added a third [sort of] job to my life, in that i am now a prep cook at the restaurant where i wait tables.  i did a month of 50+ hour weeks at el restaurante, with some construction hours at the office were remodeling for the solar company.  now that i have 2 days off during the week, i feel lazy as shit. 

so there's one reason for posting.  tired + lazy = netflix.

another is.. i'm losing the battle to the technology around me.  my car needed another $1k in repairs, my 5+ year old computer is slowly approaching the permacrash, and my barely-over-a-year-old phone crashed during a software update, lost all my pictures, and verizon sent me a new one with the understanding that i'd return my mostly useless continuously crashing and restarting phone.  the new one was free to me, but pics from all 6 months of 2015 are gonzo.  things id posted are all still on fb and the ig, but there were pics i hadn't posted that clearly i needed for... no purpose whatsoever.  regardless, gone forever into the over indulgent ether of selfies and blatant over-documentation of daily life.  also cats.  and food.  goddamnit.

plus side, i was working too much in the past month to really have lost any pictures of good stuff and happenings.

a week after, i decided to buy a kindle fire hd 7, since it was on sale at the same price as the hd6 - $99.  i wanted something not apple white or dell black, so citron it is!  ... and then i figured id pay the $14 to not have sponsored ad screensavers.  welp what the site didnt tell me is that once i clicked that modification, it was out of stock, so the cart automatically reverted me to the hd6 in citron with no screensavers...for the same price.  i purchased it, and went on my merry way.  until i saw the confirmation email, called amazon customer support [surprisingly helpful] who said, "no, it's working fine on my end, i'll purchase it for you."  me "you're sure it didnt change it back to the 6"?"  support "nope, it looks fine.  oh wait.  no, youre right.  ..hmmm" 

so now i have to return a kindle.

pictures of sewing and gardening and flowers and shit will have to wait for another day.  or month. 

merrrrr.

a 5 minute fix for a year long issue [lots of rants herein]

i'm not going to get into bra politics and normative image portrayal or any of the feminist reasoning behind not wearing bras.  i hear you.  i admit ive bought into the ideal that i should wear a bra so my boobies look "right".  i know "the man" has beaten me into submission, and the media has warped my sense of what is normal.  i also know this - i buy cheap bras.  a $12 bra from target does baaasically the exact same thing a $60 bra from victoria's secret does.  just without the angel "fashion" [sexual exploitation] show and all that shite. 

MOVING ON.

i suffer from constant-bra-strap-falling syndrome.  it plagues ladies you know, and ladies you dont.  and maybe even some cross dressing gentlemen you dont know.  but i finally have bested it.  not with the weird bra strap converters you can buy at h&m or old navy.  those are a nice idea but generally... not very functional.  and not with the straight-jacket-esque racer-back hooks already built-into my bras.  the straps are just not friggin long enough and i feel like my bra is about to put me in a stranglehold from behind.  but with the power of scissors and sewing! 

no, i just like the alliteration.  the "holy shit that implement for thread ripping out is sharp as shit and now im bleeding" name that i refer to these items as, is a bit cumbersome.  but i picked out the stitches holding down my bra straps at the back, and moved each side about 3/4" toward the hooks.

a quick sewy sew and a lot of back stitching later, and voila!  bra straps that stay on my shoulders all day. 

and yes, i didn't change the thread color.  i have "nude" [wtf color is that really] bras, green, blue, and turquoise bras.  but theyre all fixed now in white thread.  cos really if youre investigating if the thread color of my bra is consistent all the way through, you probably have some serious other issues to contend with. 

just make sure you havent twisted the bra strap when you reattach it.  its harder to pick out your own slightly non-uniform stitches and backstitches than it is factory [slave sweatshop] stitching. 

guhh.  lots of rants about all the anger.

chicken two ways

modified alfredo with artichokes and roasted tomatoes

biryani.

up against the wall motherfuckers

citation [sorry not sorry it's wikipedia..]

so day 4 of my lovely home reno project... my buddy questioned where i wanted the shower head and plumbing located.  seeing as i had confirmed time frame [multiple times], work scope, plans i'd drawn up both on paper and drafting software [in person and via email], walked through the potential layout [over lunch], and showed him all the components i'd bought... i was pretty pissed when he said, oh i didn't know you wanted that there.  i guess were ripping out this wall too, since we need 6" for a wet wall and the existing studs are only 4". 

the tale of amazon

last year some time, my mom admitted back when i was a kid, they had dinner with a friend of a friend.  he had a business proposition... would you like to invest a couple thousand with jeff bezos, in his start-up company?  my parents declined, investing in the stock market instead.  welp instead of having college paid for by stocks and bonds, I COULD HAVE BEEN A TRUST FUND BABY. 

christ.

but that's a different tale.  

this was a box i received from amazon.  containing 2 textbooks and only 1 birthday present for my pops.  the receipt confirmed there were originally 4 items in the box, but two giant text books tend to destroy the packaging theyre in, and small items make a glorious break for freedom.  after searching through page after page of FAQs on the amazon site, i noticed... like a moron, this convenient orange "contact us" button along the left hand column.  below all the 15 menu links id been trying.  but i digress.

the website noted i could click through latest purchase order and highlight the problem item, call in and sit on hold for 5 minutes, or input my phone # and someone would call me back in 5 minutes.  genius!  but what did i do?  instead of sitting on hold?  i sat and stared at my phone for 5 minutes.  anyway.  it rang, and after a brief confirmation of who i was and what the problem was, the customer service rep ordered me a replacement item with overnight shipping, apologized for the inconvenience, and we went our merry ways. 

easy freakin peasy! 

and yes i am a little bitter that my parents dont own a significant portion of amazon... but that doesnt stop me from ordering a ridic amount of stuff and having an amazon/chase credit card. 

sigh. 

sins part 2: sloth, gluttony, and extreme wrath

nothing quite says fall in maine like pea-soup-thick fog.  no kitty feet though.  sigh.  but sweatpants and soup.  mmm lazy.

old lady past-times

last week i bought plants at the farmer's market in blatant disregard for my apartment management's policy forbidding things on the back stairs - it is a fire hazard.  an over-the-rail planter is most definitely a fire hazard..wait what?  mind you.  this is the "emergency escape" that is awkwardly narrow and made of wood.  thats right.  wood.  which.. burns?  in fires?  oh.  but its from the 50's.  so its been treated with all kinds of horrible carcinogens which will emerge whilst undergoing chemical change - ie flaming.  but i digress. 

exactly 7 days later look at my friggin plants!!

2 thai basil and 6 regular [a little crowded i know..]

thyme, sage, and 4 rosemarys.  no parsley.  sorry garfunkel.

ranty mcranterson

we finally gave in and went to see the lorax last night.  most of the story was true to the book and didn't ruin many cherished childhood memories.  but the songs were annoying as hell.  not my point here.  at the gym i was perusing a people magazine whilst on the elliptical.

this review was where i read this gem:

But as this is one of the Doc's more political stories (it could even be called anti-capitalist), you may want to talk to kids about the issues it raises. After all, the Lorax speaks for the trees, but he may not necessarily speak for you.

you know what?  fuck you people magazine.  the point of the story is dont be a greedy consumerist environment raping asshole.  not that anti-capitalist beliefs will turn your children into socialist tree hugging lemmings.

not that its a bad thing.  i like trees.  but im a pinko commie liberal that thinks we should leave some of nature/water/clean air for future generations.  i must hate america.

jello shot booze cake

whenever there's cake, there is bound to be a party.  if it's booze cake... well you do the math.

the saga of the ginger and the skirt

like a responsible unemployed bored-out-of-my-mind attempting-to-eat-healthy human, i made a grocery list and went to the store at 2pm.  $80 later, i had the fixins for 3 dinners, some veggie sides, breakfast, kitty kibble, some snacks, and cookies.  these cookies.  ginger molasses crackly topped crunchy-on-the-outside-chewy-on-the-inside bliss. 

no seriously.  everyone who tries these cookies says OH MY GOD THESE ARE FRIKKIN AMAZING! 

so i busted out the ginger i made back in december and lo and behold, 30 days spent in an apartment above 78 degrees and IT MOLDED!  greenblack [probably] toxic fuzz eveeerywhere.  fuck.  so i got the emergency ginger out of the fridge [who has emergency ginger??] and peeled it.  ummm well it was about 2 weeks old and had a funny blueish tint.  so i stomped back to the grocery store at 7pm. 

oas 46

the roommate and i attended what we assumed was a high class art show/market.  the hosting gallery has some pretty decent exhibits and talented artists.  from the event website: 

Over 135 exhibitors from the east coast will be displaying and selling paintings, works on paper, sculpture and photography, as well as jewelry, and crafts in ceramics, wood, glass, fiber and other media.

welp.  yes, there were vendors selling all that.  and to put it as my roommate did, there were also vendors who were pretty obviously bored rich women who thought they were making art.  people of the world: just cos you can crochet a beaded hat for your dog...doesnt mean you should.  and do not try and sell it as art.  similarly, stringing a plastic pepper and some bedazzled shit on a leather cord does not a beautiful piece of jewelry make. 

furthermore, and this is my favorite, altering a picture with preset photoshop layers is not art.  even if you print it on a 80x100 canvas and price it at $250.  i can do that too.  im not an artist [pronounced are-teeest].


but there were some [sadly less than half] quite talented artists with classy booths and i picked up a few cards with websites to investigate further.  also it was rather depressing visiting a market on a partially employed student's budget.  no $40 necklaces for moi.  but it was a gorgeous day and i got a few decent pics. 

a wood necklace display

fruits of my labor

cherry tomatoes

a single eggplant

a real grown up bell pepper!

it really annoys me that the focus is on the stakes in the back, rather than the variegated tomatoes in the foreground.  in my defense, it was 100+ degrees and i was sweating taking pictures.

in other news, the heat FINALLY broke and it is a normal 85 during the day and a brisk 65 at night.  gorgeous.  and much deserved after my roommate and i spent friday night from 11pm until saturday at noon without electricity.  and no it wasnt a rolling black/brown out.  a transformer or something blew outside our house so our neighbors had electricity...but the 10-15 houses in the other direction were absolutely screwed.  when the a/c turned off we decided to open the windows..and 95 degree heat came blasting into the living room.  at 11:30 at night!!  needless to say it was a rather miserable night that warranted a trip to the fabric store the next day. 

my future holds projects galore!  [saturday was going to be crafts day anyway, but it is quite difficult to operate a sewing machine without any power.]

a moral dilemma of pharma greed

disclaimers:  stealing is wrong.  i am definitely not at risk of pregnancy.  children are the spawn of satan and pharmaceutical companies

read on if you dare.

semi-homemeeeh

sandra lee really pisses me off.  i know she had a rough childhood and is all about quick home prepared meals...  but i dont consider assembling pre-made things cooking.  so should she be on the food network?  no.  is she a "culinary expert"?  dear lord i hope not.  does she have a brilliant marketing gig that sells books?  yes.  but it aint cooking kids.  and neither is this.

im-running-late-and-theres-random-shit-in-the-fridge pasta [aka pasta with pink meat sauce]
1 T olive oil
3 T minced garlic
1 bunch "asparation"
1/2 cup diced bell peppers
1 cup cooked ground meat [with garlic and basil]
1 large soup container [quart] cooked pasta
1 cup canned tomato sauce
1/2 jar low fat alfredo sauce
1/2 cup fat free half & half
1/4 cup parmesan cheese

saute oil and garlic until fragrant.  wash and chop asparation into bite sized pieces.  saute asparation and peppers until just softened.  add meat, pasta, and sauces; mix well [and carefully].  heat until bubbling, add half & half and parmesan.  eat. 

yield: one bowl to eat and a large soup container of leftovers

what was left in the pan after i ate my dindin.  [note the clean stove where i cleaned up after myself cos im not an inconsiderate slob roommate]

post-equinox crap

welp kids, its officially spring.  so why when i was leaving campus the other night was there ice pellet lightning??!  i have heard of thunder-snow.  never seen it.. but it was about 30, freezing rain/chunks and i could swear i was hallucinating, but there was frikkin lightning!

taken from inside my car as the ice was defrosting from amidst my hairs.  this pic isnt as focused as i thought originally.  if only i had a new canon...  ::hint::  but despite the ice pellets and subsequent snow the tulips and daffodils are bravely continuing their emergence from the nasty frozen ground.  i weeded the bed along the fence and [thankfully] avoided any caches of stray cat shit.  when things bloom, expect the motherlode of pictures.  just like last year.

valentine's day..

the dumbest holiday ever.  american commercialization has turned the bacchanalia and martyrdom of a "saint" into an excuse to buy sappy cards and crappy chocolate and tacky [doesnt rhyme i know] jewelry.  and flowers.  flowers that oppressed exploited abused slaves pick.

i spent the last 3 valentine's days in a relationship.  and i still cant stand the holiday.  the mix of red and pink.   the cheesy hearts and cupids.  the necco hearts with "hip" new sayings.  although these candy hearts from dispair inc are pretty hilarious..

if you ask me if its sad to be single and alone for valentine's day this year, expect a punch to the face.  cos i am happy.  happy to not be tied down.  happy to be able to accept myself and where i am in life.  happy to be able to plan my future without having to fit into someone else's plans.  happy to have friends that i havent alienated by being "one of those couples". 

so until next year, whoopie pie face says "eat some cake and quit your sniveling!"

flakes easily with a fork

...probably the stupidest cooking instruction ever.  heres what it actually means-cook fish until you can cut the thickest part with the side of a fork or even a spoon.  if you cant... its gooey and raw somewhere near the middle and you will get sick and die.  maybe.  but you will probably have mercury and other heavy metal poisoning so perhaps the raw fish part wont even be the worst.  anywho.

somewhat underripe plum, rice, miso salmon, and sauteed green beans

the best part of cooking salmon in tin foil is the fact that the skin and nasty scales get stuck and you just crumple and throw away!  and if you arent too overzealous with the fork you can possibly skip the pan washing part.  but in principle that is kind of a disgusting im-a-lazy-guy method and i humbly suggest you wash the goddamn pan, put it in the drying rack, and put it away when dry.  instead of leaving it for someone else to do.  and while youre at it, take out the motherfucking trash for once.  it is traditionally a man's job and it wouldnt kill you to do it once.  seriously.

gahhh.

fred flare vs modcloth

to start, i do know in my head somewhere that shipping costs if "free", the price of shipping is already incorporated into the price of the items for sale.  I KNOW.  lets just get that tidbit out of the way.


anywho.  recently, i made several online purchases from retailers i know to be both cute and way overpriced.  mind you, i receive regular emails from both, ooh and ahh for awhile over the clothes, and then trash the emails.  why the fuck am i going to pay $90 for a one-of-a-kind "vintage look" dress.  its not even vintage.  and really all vintage means is its some really old dress someone found and is now marking up at more than triple the cost cos its "trendy".  ummm no.  i dont buy it.  plus "one-of-a-kind" from an online distributor is like buying a "limited edition touring package" on your car-stupid, overpriced, and you bought the hype.  too bad for you.  but apparently it was super-mega-clearance season.  woohoo!

from fredflare i bought this sparrow necklace that i have been admiring for a year or two now, and a skirt that was on super discount and is adorable and the "xl" that was left is about a size small.  fuck.  i will be attempting to remedy said situation with sewing...shortly.  regardless, the total [with free shipping] came to $40.23, shipped out from queens in about 6 hours, and arrived a day later, complete with UPS tracking.

on the other hand, from modcloth i bought a sundress, a tunic that was called a "dress", and a 3 pack of kitchsy calico cat fridge magnets which...turns out are now the strongest magnets on the fridge.  with my order i received free, 2 pairs of wood "naturey" earrings.  besides the fact the two dresses fit perfectly and i am becoming a crazy cat lady, i paid $7 in shipping, my order took 4 days to process, and 4 days to arrive from dun dun..... pittsburgh.  NOT THAT FAR.  and umm really kids?  free shipping from amazon takes a week from order to delivery.  paid shipping is usually 2 day. 

so what did i learn?  ummmm not a whole lot. 

my choices are apparently, free fast shipping for an item that was mismarked or i am entirely too huge for [?], or slow expensive shipping for things that happen to fit? 

hell.

yard sale

look at our gloriously dead yard! that = no mowing. but it rained today for about 4 hours... so our solace is over. damnit.

3 bins + 1 box of bedding. how much sold? ...none.

other random shite.

i have never held a yard/garage/moving sale before. fortunately, we live on a neighborhood cut-thru street off of several major roads. between craigslist, bright clearly written posters, and drive-bys we made $173.75 in 6 hours! there was some pre-planning involved which included trying to figure out what the hell we were getting rid of [clothes, furniture, jewelry, makeup, stuffed animals, kitchen kitch, shoes, etc]. i also put on about 80 little stickers marked $.10 up to $10. not that it mattered cos people asked prices on everything.

mini rant:

blah blah economy blah blah .. i have to say this. when you see a brand new unworn pair of shoes [in your size] and are told theyre $2, it takes a lot of balls to look me in the eye and say "oh. thats too much" and then ask to go lower. ITS A FUCKING YARD SALE. WHERE ELSE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND $2 FREAKING BRAND NEW DESIGNER SHOES??! go home. seriously.



in other news, we packed up a bit early, put 3 boxes and about 5 bags of stuff in the back of toni's jeep, and 2 boxes at the curb marked "free/gratis". all in all, a successful effort. and it might inspire a craft/bake sale later this fall. hot cocoa and cider too...

dumbing down cooking

..now 2/$3 at your local grocery store!

i actually saw a tv ad for these little buggers the other day. a woman, of course her place is the kitchen, is contemplating what to make for her happy little family's dinner. she apparently doesnt know how to read a recipe or a cookbook cos she wracks her brain for a meal. suddenly, a shot rang out. no wrong story. the proverbial light bulb clicks on and she miraculously remembers the pre-measured spice packets she bought that killed the tree and drained the petroleum to make the plastic to hold the spices that she is too inept to measure out for herself, which will become refuse that ironically, will be her children's problem to deal with. but i digress. she ends up making a delicious looking ________ [fill in blank] with her mccormick's spices and the happy family remains happy the end.

it annoyed me. to say the least. yea its a pain in the arse to build a spice collection from scratch. but seriously lady? buy a fucking set of measuring spoons. and really, since its not baking, just guess. its close enough. especially if youre making garlic lime chicken fajitas. you really cant fuck that one up.