the saga of frank: part 2

frank's new[ish] harness has required an adjustment period. after shuffling around the house for a few hours here and there, picture a cat running legs fully bent belly inches off the ground, we decided it was time to test the great outdoors. the leash was clipped on, the back door was opened, the storm door was propped open, and frank took one leap towards the door....and froze. terrified, he looked out into the great blue yonder and wondered, is this my chance? am i going to go outside? freedom? and then he laid down and rolled over on the floor mat. quickly getting bored, i picked his furry butt up and carried him outside.

once in the tall grass, frank snuffled and surveyed his territory wide-eyed with wonderment. then he sat down, chewed some grass, and looked bored. such a build up with such an anticlimactic finish. a few laps around the yard, wandering around the flowers, and frank discovered THE DOG. neighbor man's dog also discovered frank. after a few laps up and down the hedge, the dog discovered a large hole and shoved both his head and shoulders in. frank, ever the curious kitty, approached cautiously. the dog by this point was barking his poor head off and frank crept closer and closer. a completely uncamouflaged black lump in a slowly greening yard, sneaking towards prey. finally the dog gave one extra loud growl and frank tore back towards the house and was taken in for the night.

yet another trip into the field of dreams [for frank atleast] occurred on a rare 70 degree march day. i stretched out on a lounger with sunglasses and a book. frank wandered around on his 15 foot leash, chomping all the grass in sight, chasing bugs, and romping in the sun. without warning, there was a tug on the leash and i looked up just in time to see frank leap backwards and wrench the harness over his own head. after hitting the ground he looked around and i could see the wheels turning. picture william wallace "FREEEEEEEDOMMMMMMM!" and then he hauled ass across the yard. when i caught up he was staring at the dog, looked back at me, and ran away just as i reached for him. after several minutes of circling the yard, i managed to snag the furry turd and threw his ass back in the house. he proceeded to cry for the next hour from the window, waking the roommates, pissing off the neighbors, and interrupting my reading repast.

since that fateful day of attempted escape, frank has returned to the yard in a severely tightened harness with me in tow, being "that person" on the smartphone, texting, listening to pandora, checking email, playing solitaire.. you get the gist.

the saga of frank and the harness

long ago in maine, three roommates decided a cat should go for a walk just like a dog. a cat harness and leash were purchased, wrestled around the unwilling cat, and he was unceremoniously dragged down the steps of an apartment and into the parking lot. that is where it all went downhill. said cat refused to arise from his flattened position; undercarriage plastered to the gravel and all four legs straight out. after being pulled a couple feet, he was hauled back up to the apartment and the endeavor was abandoned. during subsequent moves and interstate cat transport, the leash and harness were lost and long forgotten.

fast forward to christmas 2009/10. englewood florida. specifically pelican shores circle. enter siamese cat tiki. here we witnessed a cat, going for a walk, not unlike a dog. scampering along, head held high, stopping every now and then to sniff something, mark his territory by rubbing his face on something, and then wandering off to the extent of his leash. this event brought back the hope that one day psychocat could be tamed into submission.

attempt #1: a "kitty come with me" harness and leash combination was purchased. much to the dismay of the housemates, the buyer [moi], and the cat... it was sized wrong. a small, unbeknownst to pretty much EVERYBODY is for kittens. i naturally assumed a medium would fit the frankers...but in cat size hes a bit on the porker side. no as much as THE BEAR CAT...but enough that the harness had to be returned.

attempt #2: a harness designed for small dogs [8-12 pounds], in some similarly intolerable cute pattern. this harness fit well, was sturdy, and entirely too heavy for an 11 pound cat. once it was secured, frank leaped off the couch, half scurried into the kitchen, and promptly fell over. picture the scene from star wars where the walking robot things on the ewok planet get their legs tied together. that was frank. only without the leg trussing. just gravity. also picture a tree falling in the woods. but in slow motion. and with a small thump. after several attempts to right himself, he dragged his sorry carcass into the corner of the kitchen and stared angrily at the wall. while this tale was unfolding, the roommates and i were literally crying with mirth and attempting to release frank from his small nylon prison. needless to say, the dog harness was returned.

attempt #3: a specifically designed cat harness. but that is a story for another day. just know... crying, an escape attempt, and hilarity ensue.

frank.

there once was a psycho named frank
sometimes he did smell most rank
he often did fart
but made it an art
in what he thought was a devilish prank.

WTF IS THIS

traipsing thru our uncut lawn after paparazziing daffodils, i passed what i thought was a mound of dirt. it seemed a bit odd as it wasnt there the day before...and who leaves random clumps of dirt in the back yard. i have not yet begun gardening and no plant-repottage had occurred as of that moment.

upon closer inspection, the ground was writhing with ants!

looking at this picture again i am equally nauseated and horrified. are they preparing for battle? seeking out our kitchen for a new year of invasion? attacking and horrifically dismembering something?

needless to say, i didnt stick around to see. i shrieked like a little girl and ran into the house, locking the door behind me. cos everybody knows, ants cant pass locked doors. ...or is that vampires?

daffodil developments

long-snouted daffodil. with shadow.

it turns out my camera has a "widescreen" setting i didn't know about. unfortunately..it also makes for a weirdly grainy shot. but i like the top of the fence cropped out.

i had to put the weirdly tall daffodils out of their misery. they are now in a vase...hopefully not being batted off the table by psychocat.

sunset over daffodilland.