the saga of frank and the harness

long ago in maine, three roommates decided a cat should go for a walk just like a dog. a cat harness and leash were purchased, wrestled around the unwilling cat, and he was unceremoniously dragged down the steps of an apartment and into the parking lot. that is where it all went downhill. said cat refused to arise from his flattened position; undercarriage plastered to the gravel and all four legs straight out. after being pulled a couple feet, he was hauled back up to the apartment and the endeavor was abandoned. during subsequent moves and interstate cat transport, the leash and harness were lost and long forgotten.

fast forward to christmas 2009/10. englewood florida. specifically pelican shores circle. enter siamese cat tiki. here we witnessed a cat, going for a walk, not unlike a dog. scampering along, head held high, stopping every now and then to sniff something, mark his territory by rubbing his face on something, and then wandering off to the extent of his leash. this event brought back the hope that one day psychocat could be tamed into submission.

attempt #1: a "kitty come with me" harness and leash combination was purchased. much to the dismay of the housemates, the buyer [moi], and the cat... it was sized wrong. a small, unbeknownst to pretty much EVERYBODY is for kittens. i naturally assumed a medium would fit the frankers...but in cat size hes a bit on the porker side. no as much as THE BEAR CAT...but enough that the harness had to be returned.

attempt #2: a harness designed for small dogs [8-12 pounds], in some similarly intolerable cute pattern. this harness fit well, was sturdy, and entirely too heavy for an 11 pound cat. once it was secured, frank leaped off the couch, half scurried into the kitchen, and promptly fell over. picture the scene from star wars where the walking robot things on the ewok planet get their legs tied together. that was frank. only without the leg trussing. just gravity. also picture a tree falling in the woods. but in slow motion. and with a small thump. after several attempts to right himself, he dragged his sorry carcass into the corner of the kitchen and stared angrily at the wall. while this tale was unfolding, the roommates and i were literally crying with mirth and attempting to release frank from his small nylon prison. needless to say, the dog harness was returned.

attempt #3: a specifically designed cat harness. but that is a story for another day. just know... crying, an escape attempt, and hilarity ensue.