xtrme chandelier golf

not as horribly destructive as it sounds. except for your corneas being slowly seared away. but while bathroom-sconce-shopping..we happened upon chandeliers. when are they appropriate? read on:

in your neo-gothic [as in black clothes-eyeliner wearing goth not the visigoths of ancient europe] mansion built by your hard working parents' dirty capitalistic money that you will soon squander on screechy concerts and leather.

in a high-class brothel

in a light-refraction physics class with plenty of lasers and..appropriate eye protection

in ....never. do not ever buy this lamp. i will hunt you down and unmercifully beat you with it. and thats a promise.

spelling

medford/patchogue area

ummm picture tattoos only please. or your tramp stamp may read "angle"

storm in pjs

after work i came home to find my mother mowing the yard [since the roommates apparently couldnt find the time] and i decided to do a little replanting of stuff. yes stuff. and things and shit and etc. in a span of about 30 min, the sunny sky clouded over, the still humid air became a light breeze, and the sky began to darken. not 5 minutes later the sky looked like this:

the clouds boiled in the sky,

wind whistled in the trees, and the temperature dropped 20 degrees

in between crazy thunder, lightening, and the power flickering, there was massive effing hail. fortunately the cars are fine since the garage is used for beer pong and storage of yard tools.

it pretty much felt like a summer storm in iowa. only ....were not in the midwest anymore toto. thanks to the buckets of rain, our gutters basically overflowed around the entire perimeter of the house. but i did get one really sweet shot thanks to an ISO1600 instead of the "auto" which chose 400.

kittens in freeport

lou and i were surveying a parking lot for a new drainage layout. in a stairwell/creepy nook by the electrical room there were 3 teeeeny tiny frikkin adorable kittens! i wanted to steal them and drive the 45 min back to the office and then the 25 min home with them but i decided loose kittens and sad momma kitty werent a good idea.

this one is aaaaall alone and smelling garbage

fluffy emo kittery kept darting in and out of the electrical room. via 3" gap under the door

if you look really closely..the kittens have green eyes. sadly, they remind me of the "national geographic afghani girl", sharbat gula. they too will lead a dreary dismal life, facing danger, starvation, and strife. instead of the imminent threat of war and genocide, hatred and greed, they dodge cars and psychopathic children, dogs and disease.

recent sewings

thanks to a recent videoblog by threadbanger, i FINALLY know how to do shirring/ruching! so i made a maxi dress and a tanktop. i obviously used their general idea... but changed a lot. cos i cant follow directions for shit. and im "creative".

this is the maxi dress. its made out of organic cotton/bamboo knit

since its so long its pretty heavy for a shirred dress so i need to sew straps on it. however... it looks like a 3 year old sewed these straps. and the shirring in the back is ridicuously uneven. deal with it.

6 rows across the top. i may add another couple rows to eliminate the weirdass ruffle. but thats yet to be seen

and 3 uneven crooked diagonal rows make an empire waist. and its em-pie-err like the flooring company. not ohm-peeer. you sound like a douche when you say it that way. no one cares if you think you know french

the other project i just finished is a quilting knit that i bought from fabric.com. its not stretchy or drapey or light or flowy. just plain old cheap fabric. with acorns?

i added a length of extra ruching at the bottom for a faux pleat and to give it some shape. the extreme closeup give the fabric the texture of upholstery. it aint.

closeup of right strap detail. the other one is just a double. that i added as a last minute thought. cos it looked rather unbalanced. even with the bottom ruching on that side.

the end.

pickled garden?

zucchini i planted from seed!

random yard mushrooms. its been very rainy

purple bean flowers

tomatoes [this is the black krim plant i bought]

AND A FUCKING PEPPER! its one of the banana peppers!

soooo the other day a new issue of everyday food arrived full of recipes for summer bbqs, grilling, and pickles! so i decided id make some dilly beans. unfortunately in my last minute trip to the grocery store... i forgot fresh dill. but it doesnt matter cos i dont really like dill anyway.

but here are the green beans smashed into a plastic thingy from homegoods. the trip to homegoods was quite inconvenient and extremely trying on my patience. i later realized that homegoods is owned by tj maxx. which explains the total disorganization of the store, the incompetence of the staff, and the low low prices.

brine boilingggg

pickled green beans before chilling [they turned kind of barf colored... but are still crunchy!]

spicy pickled carrots. i used this recipe and..dun dun... i forgot the frikkin jalapenos. but i used plenty of garlic and pepper flakes

and they turned out quite tasty and spicy. similar to the pickle we had in honduras con pupusas. delicioso

puppy chow

as a young'un in the midwest, i often enjoyed a most unappealing sounding snack of puppy chow. now my mom never made it of course. powdered sugar is essentially satan incarnate to a clean freak. but everyone else did for every single event whether family, school, church, sport, etc. unfortunatly, apparently noone out of the midwest has EVER EVEN HEARD OF PUPPY CHOW.

its also called "muddy buddies" which frankly, i think sounds interminably worse. but for all of you sheltered folk, this is how you make puppy chow:


9 cups rice or corn chex

1 cup chocolate chips

1/2 cup peanut butter

1/4 cup butter

microwave chocolate, pb, and butter 60 seconds, stir, microwave 30 seconds more, stir

add 1 teas vanilla

pour chocolate mixture over chex and stir carefully as not to crush all the cereal

pour into large ziploc bag with 1 1/2 cup powdered sugar
shake it like a polaroid picture
shake your money maker
shake shake shake your booty
or whatever. just dont spill the damn sugar.

since i only had 1 cup sugar [and didnt want to borrow from a neighbor] its a little light on the powdery stuff. but that keeps you from having the crack-addict look.

the end.

leggings

dear women of the world:

i LOVE leggings. i wore stirrups as a child in bright floral prints with matching teeshirts. i wear leggings under tunic tops, leggings with shorts, leggings with skirts, and leggings with dresses. i appreciate the non-staticeyness of stretch-satin leggings. i dont understand and would never wear pvc/"wet look" leggings, but they look cool. i have 4 different pairs of black leggings. i like the idea of "torn" leggings but would not spend money on leggings someone else has cut up. i wear leggings to help prevent the dreaded chub rub. i wear leggings when its cold out but i still want to wear something light and flowy.

but...

and this is a big one. [often spelled with 2 t's]

LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS. UNLESS YOU ARE GOING TO/FROM THE GYM, YOUR TOP LAYER MUST FULLY COVER YOUR ASS CHEEKS.

on a side note, hot pants/shorts that give you under-cheek cleavage makes you look like a baby prostitute. and mothers, when you let your 13 year old daughter out looking like that, not only do you come across as a worthless irresponsible mother with no fashion sense and no understanding of age-appropriateness, but your daughter is going to grow up and be a whore. and probably enjoys watching this shit.

frank got pi on my shirt?

errr no. but i cant really think of a good title for this.

this is fabric from fabric.com sewn over an old tube-bra. i figured since i have 4 of them and have worn each probably once [one of each-white, baby blue, black, pink] they would be ideal to sew into shirts. then its like a built-in-bra-top only... with a real bra instead of some cheapy layer of sheer fabric they call a "bra". but i digress.

side view-hemmed extra edge to make drapey front, reconsidered, and left drapey side.

um yup. thats the pi sign and some pie. and its going with the bicycles in the quilt.

frank is a turd. and he apparently ate part of my spikey plant this afternoon and then barfed in the kitchen.

kenneth cole

a recent trip to the outlet mall rewarded me with a $128 skirt for... ::wait for it:: $10! can i get a fuck yea for half-off clearance prices? indeed. granted, im not convinced any piece of clothing is worth that amount of money. unless its made of money. and even then its probably sewn by some poor starving kid in china or indonesia or india or pakistan making pennies a day right next to the poor starving kid who sews shitty clothes for old navy. but its a nice skirt goddamnit.

aaaaaanyway.

i wore two necklaces. they jangled a lot. it was cacophonous fun.

closeup of the pleating cos it makes the skirt all flowy when i samba

• headband: ulta
• necklaces: pac sun & grammie's old jewelry box
• tshirt: calvin klein
• tank top: old navy
• skirt: kenneth cole
• leggings: victorias secret
  

ballroom bling

the theme at arthur murray tonight was "diamonds and denim". and since i have absolutely no other occasion... i wore this:

costume bracelet and necklace from grammie from someone else? no idea really. all i know is it sits with the rest of my jewelry, unworn but sparkly. and im like a crow.

necklace

bracelet [i think my desk makes a very nice background]

really it should have been "jeans and old prom jewelry unless you actually pay the $650 every single month and then its probably real and good thing you bedazzled those jeans in the 80s and kept them until now" night. oh long island.